Default confidentiality of replies & observe permissions

What does this MR do?

At present we rely on the frontend determining whether a user is allowed to set note confidentiality. We really should be checking this in the backend. It's less to do with "permission" but more to do with someone setting

We also need to ensure that replies have the same confidentiality as first note.

Closes #300865 (closed)

Screenshots (strongly suggested)

Does this MR meet the acceptance criteria?

Conformity

• Changelog entry
• Documentation (if required)
• Code review guidelines
• Merge request performance guidelines
• Style guides
• Database guides
• Separation of EE specific content

Availability and Testing

• Review and add/update tests for this feature/bug. Consider all test levels. See the Test Planning Process.
• Tested in all supported browsers
• Informed Infrastructure department of a default or new setting change, if applicable per definition of done

Security

If this MR contains changes to processing or storing of credentials or tokens, authorization and authentication methods and other items described in the security review guidelines:

• Label as security and @ mention @gitlab-com/gl-security/appsec
• The MR includes necessary changes to maintain consistency between UI, API, email, or other methods
• Security reports checked/validated by a reviewer from the AppSec team