Respect alt email when sending group access notifications

What does this MR do?

Currently we're not respecting alternate (group-level) notification emails when we sent mailer invite/access granted/rejected notifications. This MR fixes that

Bonus: Changed the #recipient helper to accept a User object if we have one, so we don't do an extra DB lookup for no reason

Does this MR meet the acceptance criteria?

Conformity

• Changelog entry for user-facing changes, or community contribution. Check the link for other scenarios.
• Documentation created/updated or follow-up review issue created
• Code review guidelines
• Merge request performance guidelines
• Style guides
• Database guides
• Separation of EE specific content

Performance and testing

• Review and add/update tests for this feature/bug. Consider all test levels. See the Test Planning Process.
• Tested in all supported browsers

Security

If this MR contains changes to processing or storing of credentials or tokens, authorization and authentication methods and other items described in the security review guidelines:

• Label as security and @ mention @gitlab-com/gl-security/appsec
• The MR includes necessary changes to maintain consistency between UI, API, email, or other methods
• Security reports checked/validated by a reviewer from the AppSec team

Rel #63568 (closed)