Hello NAME, my name is INCOM_NAME! I would like to talk to you about your recent purchase from Amazon.com
Okay, thank you. It never arrived.
Ok, sorry about that. I'll do my best to make sure this gets fixed.
Thank you. I would like it replaced please.
Ok, no problem, but I need to confirm you are who you say you are.
Okay, what do you need from me?
Can you please confirm the credit card information you used when you placed the order?
Is there another way I confirm my identity?
I understand! It can be arranged, but it would elongate the process severely.
That is fine. I would rather not give my credit card information over the phone.
Ok, know that it will take up to 90 days to receive a replacement.
That is a long time. I do not see why it would need to take that long?
It takes a long time to confirm identity and order placement manually, as we have many orders.
I can provide another piece of information if that helps.
Sure, I will need that information, however it will not speed up the process, unfortunately.
I will give you my credit cars information if you can prove you work for amazon.
No problem, what information would make you feel more comfortable?
Do you know which purchase of mine did not arrive?
Well no, because you have not given any information on what purchase was made with what card.
Shouldn't you know which purchase you are calling about?
Of course, once you have given me the information! Currently I only know you have a problem.
Do you have a manager I can speak to? Yes