Hello, NAME. I am from Amazon Customer Outreach, and I have an offer for you!
Hello
Recent purchases allow me to offer you 35% off selected gift cards.
Oh, what recent purchases?
Purchases within the last month. Gift card areas include Movies and Dining.
Oh, what did I buy to make me eligible?
Our customer loyalty algorithm has made that determination.
Oh, I see. What do I have to do?
Which category are you interested: Movies or Dining?
I need to think about it. Give me your phone number and I will call you back.
FAKE_PHONE is the corporate number for Amazon. I have no direct number.
Oh. What about your email address?
We can contact you at a later time, if you wish.
I just need to talk to my wife. Can you just wait a minute?
We can also send you a mailer, if you could give me you address.
Oh. You can't use the address from my order?
Yes, but for security purposes, we need you to verify it, Mr NAME.
Oh. That seems strange. Just mail me your offer.
We have a limited number of offers, and need verification before we can send them.
I verify it. Go ahead and send it.
We still need to know which specific offer you want. Movies, or Dining?
Dining.
Offers are Red Lobster, Olive Garden, Abuelo's, Red Robin, and Bricktown Brewery
Abuelo's No