Hello my name is NAMESLOT and I am with Amazon customer support.
Yes, Hello NAMESLOT. I recently purchased a heater but it has not arrived
I'm sorry to hear that. Can I have your name and address to look this up?
Why is my address necessary NAMESLOT?
Due to our volume, we have certain guidelines on information needed for order inquiries.
Alright before I proceed may I have your full name for personal record.
I'm sorry that is against our policies. I can give you my employee number if you need.
Ok, what is your employee number?
234111
NAMESLOT
NAMESLOT. I am seeing a customers by that name. Did you order with a credit card?
Yes I did
I can find your order instantly with your CC number. Possibly a quick refund as well.
Great! May I get your number NAMESLOT for quality reassurance?
PHONESLOT is my direct line. Don't ask for a date though!
Darn, Your name sounded kinda cute
OK NAMESLOT. Your CC and billing address could lead to an instant refund if you'd like.
What would happen if I receive the heater after the refund is given to me?
We here at Amazon are happy to refund for any reason if you're unhappy. 
Well I am honestly just waiting for my package to arrive, I do not need a refund.
Ok. Was there anything I can help you with 
Well you said earlier you saw a customer with my name, is it possible to track it?
Unfortunately not without your CC and billing information. There are 33 NAMESLOT
I can provide my address: ADDRSLOT Yes