20200719:10 - Two months at GitLab
It occurred to me today that yesterday the 18th marked two months since I started working for GitLab.
I don't know why that took a while to sink in: I had a pair of automatic emails from HR to prompt me as well (60 days reminder for a Glassdoor review, and a 60 days trigger to begin the GitLab Values Checkin.
It's a significant milestone, I spent a bit of time reflecting on it while walking the dog today.
To say that the beginning with GitLab was an exciting and fun plunge into an ocean of information is an understatement. There is so much to see and do in early days. Leading up to my job offer, I had dipped my toes into the waters of the Handbook's 3000+ pages, but always with some reserve, because the more I read about working for this company, the more excited I became: I didn't want to be very heartbroken or disappointed if I was not offered a position.
So, week one went by very fast, I started meeting people virtually in Zoom, read a lot of things about the Company, and the Product. Then week two was the same … in fact the first month went by very quickly and I was left at the end questioning myself: am I performing? How does anyone know? What if people realise I've been faking it all the way through?
Honestly though, the job's amazing. It seems too good to be true, and I feel incredibly lucky to land it at just the time that I did. So I feel anxious to keep it, and to show what I can do. When I look at what I've done so far, I'm a bit underwhelmed. This is despite being told, by many people in GitLab, including my boss, that there are low expectations for me for now, and to just take my time settling in. It's hard to make that sink in.
I started doing some "real work" — Tickets. That has helped calm down the Imposter Syndrome a lot, even though I've done less than a dozen. It's okay, I know this stuff, I've been doing it for 20 years, and that's a big part of why I was hired. That and my incredible good looks (pffft just kidding).
So, there was that, and then I realised what is wrong: I'm a bit afloat in all this sea of information and Issues with 200+ Tasks inside them, and the change in the world, and my old routine and friends are not around. And other New Starters are doing lots of awesome things that I should be doing too... This is a normal reaction, I'm okay. I just need to find my mojo, get back to some sense of accomplishing things, and a handle on what there is to do.
So yesterday and today I started fleshing out my "ic
" Project (this Project, which went through a couple of names today) and is now "lab
". Doing this has helped to get me back into the right mindset, I think. This is how I work, I'm feeling confident again, and that I can begin focusing more on those Values which I need to demonstrate for the Checkin (at least a bit, for some of them), write that GitLab README so others can get to know me. And most importantly, get cracking on contributing.