Pushes fail with `Internal API unreachable`

git push with SSH remotes is broken for my team, it just returns remote: GitLab: Internal API unreachable

I'm not filling out the template or going to the forums for functionality this basic. Get your act together, GitLab.

Side note: the issue tracker link listed on https://about.gitlab.com/get-help/#reproducible-bugs is busted, too.

Edited by Tony Papousek