It is estimated that listeners will filter out or change the intended meaning of what is heard in 70% of all communications. [Source](https://1personalcareercoach.com/art-listening-good-leader).
**Myths about Listening**
- Everybody knows how to listen.
- Sending messages is more important than receiving them.
- Listening is easy and passive.
- Hearing and listening are the same thing.
- An effective speaker commands audience attention.
- Communication is the sender’s responsibility.
- Listening is done with our ears.
- Listening skills are practiced and not learned.
- Listening ability comes from maturity.
**Tips for Effective Listening**
- Concentrate.
- Give unequivocal attention to the speaker.
- Don’t anticipate what the speaker means.
- Test the message not the messenger.
- Respect cultural difference and boundaries.
- Develop the fine art of empathy.
- Try not to interrupt.
- Focus on feelings and not grammar or vocabulary.
- Silence is the golden rule.
**Being Assertive**
There is a delicate balance between being confident enough to be assertive of personal rights and boundaries while respectful of others.
- Know the distinction between being assertive and being aggressive or arrogant.
- Establish clear boundaries when dealing with others.
- Politely but directly let people know your position.
- Know what you want.
- Avoid being timid.
- Be willing to clearly say either yes or no and stand by your answer.
- Avoid arrogance.
- When opinions are in question give yourself permission to disclose yours.
Commit to [active and effective listening](/handbook/people-group/learning-and-development/manager-coaching-and-leadership-resources/#demonstrating-active-listening).
