uncomment parts which speed up making connections

when connecting our own drive, stop waiting once the 'opened' event is emitted.

when connecting to others drives, only wait for a 'flush' if no-one connects. that is, if we get either 'peer-add' or 'flush', stop waiting.

we should only merge this once we are happy things are working well without it - so we can tell if this breaks anything or if it was already broken.